I need your help..

On the 10th December 2010, I walked away from a relationship that controlled every part of my life – including my money. I left with a bin bag, four children, and a deep determination to rebuild. What I didn’t realise then was that the financial control I’d lived under wasn’t “just part of it”, it was the mechanism that kept me trapped.

Since then, I’ve spoken with countless women whose stories sound painfully familiar. Despite progress in law, awareness, and support, economic abuse remains largely hidden, disguised as love, dismissed as “financial disagreements,” or reclassified as romance fraud when it fits narrow definitions.

I am conducting research on women, money and safety to assess how financial education and digital inclusion can protect women from economic abuse, fraud and financial crime. If you are a woman in the UK, please fill in this short survey: https://survey.zohopublic.eu/zs/OjCasA

It’s time we name this for what it is: economic control and coercion is abuse. They are deliberate acts designed to limit freedom, independence, and safety, and they are still happening every single day to people just like you.

The Scale of the Problem

Economic abuse is one of the most pervasive yet least recognised forms of domestic abuse. It cuts across class, culture, and circumstance, and it disproportionately (but not only) affects women.

• In the UK, one in six women report financial abuse in a current or former relationship. Regulators and advocates now recognise it as domestic abuse requiring systemic action.
• Research across multiple countries finds that 15%–28% of ever-partnered women experience some form of economic abuse – from being denied access to money to being forced into debt.
• Among those who experience other forms of domestic abuse, economic control is present in up to 99% of cases.

To put that in perspective, the Office for National Statistics estimates that 2.1 million people in England and Wales experienced domestic abuse in 2023, meaning economic abuse is impacting hundreds of thousands of women every year.

What Economic Abuse Looks Like

Economic abuse often operates quietly, embedded in everyday life until control feels normal. It can include:

1. Economic control: Restricting access to money, bank accounts, benefits, or identification; monitoring spending; enforcing “allowances.”
2. Economic exploitation:Stealing wages, coercing credit, taking out loans in a partner’s name, or exploiting shared assets. This includes money mule activity.
3. Economic sabotage: Preventing someone from working, studying, or progressing, often by controlling transport, childcare, or communication.

These behaviours rarely exist in isolation; they are part of a broader strategy of domination that erodes confidence, autonomy, and safety.

The Human and Economic Impact

Economic abuse leaves deep and lasting scars: financial, emotional, and physical.

• Mental health: Survivors of economic abuse report higher rates of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress.
• Employment and education: Up to 80% of survivors experience workplace disruption; many lose jobs or drop out of education due to sabotage.
• Financial insecurity: Victims are more likely to experience food insecurity, debt, and homelessness, often long after the relationship ends.
• Safety: Financial dependence significantly increases the risk of further abuse and fatal violence.

I couldnt get any credit for years, and I’m still effected now by debts I didn’t know I had popping up or applications for credit cards I never applied for showing up on my credit report. I now have Experian credit lock on, and have used companies such as Loqboxto help – but it took me years and years to find the right tools and support to overcome the aftermath of this abuse – and that was just the financial implications.

The economic impact is not just personal, it’s systemic. Women who experience partner violence have significantly lower lifetime earnings, reduced employment rates, and poorer access to credit and housing.

Why We Still Don’t See It

Economic abuse remains largely invisible, partly due to stigma, and partly because we often don’t ask the right questions. It is misclassified as “financial conflict,” hidden within broader coercive control, or reframed as fraud when it occurs outside the home.

Support systems, from financial institutions to frontline services, frequently lack tools to identify or respond to economic coercion. Many survivors don’t even realise that what they’ve experienced has a name until years later.

When I walked away, I didn’t just lose my relationship, I lost family members who didnt agree with me leaving the family home, they couldnt see it. I had to move areas. I didn’t understand that what I was so used to wasn’t normal. It was only accessing education in an access course that I met women who were in healthy realtionships, who carefully and gently helped me see the abuse. I still didnt really recognise it until the court appointed mediator refused mediation due to the level of abuse – handing me a leaflet for the local domenstic abuse charity.

Recognition matters. When we name economic abuse, we can begin to measure it, design protections against it, and create routes to recovery.

What Needs to Change

For financial services and fintech:

• Embed economic-abuse flags and survivor-safe account processes.
• Enable safe separation of joint finances and relief for coerced debt.
• Design digital journeys with coercive-control safeguards built in.

I recently sat with my oldest daughter, now 22 years old and embarking on her own journey as a married woman, buying her own house. She talked about how one of her strongest childhood memories was us all going to the bank because my card wasnt working and her just watching me break down sobbing in the branch, as my ex-husband emptied the account overnight. We had no food, no electric, no heat, and nowhere to turn. That experience has shaped how she navigates her finances as a young woman. She never wants to be in that same place. The bank was the first and only point of contact and support I had in this moment, and at that time, they couldnt do anything to help. Economic abuse wasnt a crime back then.

For employers and educators:

• Recognise employment sabotage and offer flexible support for those experiencing control at home.

For policymakers and practitioners:

• Treat economic abuse as a core element of coercive control.
• Integrate it into safeguarding frameworks, consumer protection, and justice processes.
• Fund research and interventions that join the dots between money, safety, and independence.

A Personal Reflection, and an Invitation

When I think back to that moment 15 years ago, I remember how impossible it felt to rebuild from nothing. But I also remember that what made the difference was being believed, being supported, and being given the means to take control of my own life again.

Today, I work with organisations, policymakers, and financial institutions to help them see what I once couldn’t – that money is never “just money.” It’s freedom, safety, and dignity.

If you’ve experienced economic control or want to help shape solutions, I’m collecting lived experiences to inform new research and policy recommendations. Your story can help make the invisible visible.

🔗 You can complete the anonymous survey here: https://survey.zohopublic.eu/zs/OjCasA

Together, we can design systems where control doesn’t fit, and where women can leave, recover, and thrive.

Support: If any of these topics are difficult, you can contact:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (England): 0808 2000 247
Scottish Women’s Aid: 0800 027 1234
Women’s Aid Live Chat: womensaid.org.uk
Refuge: refuge.org.uk
Surviving Economic Abuse: survivingeconomicabuse.org
National Debtline: 0808 808 4000